Maggie Bain is a Relationship and Intimacy Specialist with Family Medicine Center on Blake Road. She is also the only certified Sex Therapist in The Bahamas.
Every week Maggie answers questions submitted to Tribune Woman in the hopes of helping individuals with their romantic problems.
Q: “My partner and I spend very little time together because for a great deal of the time he has his daughter (he is single). While I understand he has parental duties, however he has very little free time and is not ready yet for us to be introduced etc. I can’t help but feel neglected.
Should I keep dating him?”
Choices, choices, choices! This is what it all boils down to.
When you move past casual dating and turn your thoughts towards a potential love partner, there are some other considerations apart from chemistry and free flowing energy.
Yes, of course that is the springboard from where everything else follows, however hopefully mid-flight you may have wondered if you would fit into each other’s lives.This is an important component of the relationship jigsaw puzzle, that if it all fits together it will allow it to get off the ground and thrive.
It sounds to me as if your partner has been transparent about his responsibilities towards his daughter. He did not hide it from you and obviously expressed his wish to introduce you both when the time is right.This is admirable as he appears to respect everyone’s feelings, including yours.
However, for your peace of mind I would encourage you to pin him down about when he anticipates this meeting will take place. This is hugely important as it will indicate which direction he thinks you are both moving.
Nevertheless, even when we are given all the information our own desires and relationship expectations can override the facts. Perhaps this is what you are experiencing. You want more from him, and because of this you are feeling restless.
You use the word neglect and so I’m wondering if you previously had more time together and his parental duties have increased. If this is so then I can understand the feeling of less, but if it’s always been like this then perhaps it’s you wanting more quality time.
Remember dating gives you time to learn and explore the width and depth of your relationship. Only you can assess if your partner and your life together is worth your investment in time, energy, and love. If your answer is an unwavering yes then I would suggest you start turning your mindset towards what you do have, rather than what you feel is lacking.
Warning- ‘Lack’ thinking is the fastest slippery slope to negative thoughts and feelings of hopelessness.
To prevent the decline of your relationship I would suggest you put some thought into how you would like to spend your time together. Write them down and put those suggestions to him so that you can both decide how to maximize the limited time you have together.
If however, you do not get a satisfactory response to any of this, then I would suggest you think long and hard about what you really want in life. Settling in one place and feeling unsatisfied is a waste of your precious time, so aim high- You Deserve It!
Sending courage in your decision making.
Relationship and intimacy specialist Maggie Bain– also known as the Bare Naked Coach– has returned to the Bahamas to help local couples repair their relationships. She will be answering questions which she has received for Tribune Woman in the hopes of helping individuals with similar romantic problems. The column comes out the 2nd & last Tuesday of each month.
Maggie Bain is a relationship and intimacy specialist with Family Medicine Center on Blake Road. Book a consultation at 702-9310 ext. 130 or click here to book an appointment.
Publish Date: Tuesday, June 20, 2023, The Tribune